I wonder if he feels the same way about me as I feel about him. I should have talked to him more while I had the chance. Now I'm never going to see him again, and if I do, things won't be the same. I know they won't. I don't know why, but they will. He likes me. I know he does. I know he will miss me, just maybe not as much as I will miss him. Why do I build things up like this in my head, but then never really do anything about it. This will change. I will get a boyfriend. I will. I need one. They way he looked at me was different than the way he looks at everyone else. He tried to have real conversations with me. Not just stupid stuff about work. I can't believe I cried after saying goodbye to him. He asked if I was coming back, which means he wants me to come back, right? Unless he was just being polite, but screw that. How is this my life? I shouldn't be so upset over this. It was a stupid summer job. Why am I acting like it is a huge part of my life that I am being forced to let go of?

What the FUCK. Like, seriously even since I came back from the weekend at home Katy and Alissa have been super clicky. Like, whenever I'm with them the are both quiet and looking at each other and now we came home and Katy like, RAN over to alissas room and now they are like sitting in there laughing about god knows what. Like, Did I do something?!? I don't get it. They are seriously hysterical over there and completely ignoring me. What happened over the weekend? Did they make a fucking "shun sarah" pact. I don't get it. And I'm sure if Ibrought it up to either of them they would act like nothing at all was wrong.

Okay so, I dont remeber if I wrote down what I did yesterday, but all I did was the treadmill for 45 minutes. I tried to keep the speed around 4.0-4.-2 mph and an incline of about 5 or 6. Everynow and then I took a break and lowered one of them alittle. Today I did the harder eliptical for 20 minutes. I tried to keep it going pretty fast and I just left the resistance at 15. Then I did the regular eliptical for twenty minutes. I tried to keep the speed above 6 mph and did a little over 2 miles. Then I did the two ab machines and the two leg machines and one arm machine. I feel like it was a good workout because I'm pretty tired right now. For breakfast I had a bowl of Special K blueberry and then for lunch I had the rest of the hot wing hoagie I had for dinner last night. Yesterday I had a bowl of special K, a chicken and cheese sandwhich, pisachios, half of a hot wing hoagie, and then I had a slice of cold pizza =(. I was doing good up until the pizza. I think my biggest problem is eating so much white bread. I will try to eat another kind.

Okay so I ate my bowl of special K blueberry at 7:30am and it is now about 10:30 and I am having lunch. I made toast and put one slice of american cheese on it and two slices of bufflo chicken. I am also having a glass of water.

Okay so I went to the gym last night around 6pm with Brianna. I did the treadmill for 35 minutes and I ran at 6.2mph for 5 minutes. The rest I did at a pretty high intesnsity (like 4.2 mph or 4pmh at an incline of 5) Then I did the two ab machines and I did those two leg machines where to press your legs together and then push them apart. I didn't eat anything after because I just took a shower and went to bed. I woke up this morning and drove my mom to work and then I ate a bowl of special K blueberry with milk and some water and I drove my brother to school.

Okay so I ate a sandwhich that I made with stuff in the fridge. I took two pieces of white bread and I put on it buffalo chicken, american cheese, and my moms buffalo chicken dip. Then I just made it on the stove like a grilled cheese. I still want to eat something but I dont know if I am actually hungry or if I just want to eat because I'm bored (because I am pretty bored) I might have a few m&ms. Like 10. I want to go to the gym later and I want to go with brianna but I feel bad asking because I dont have a car so she has to drive.

Okay so I ate a bowl of Special K Blueberry (aka my fave cereal) with milk and then I did a Bollywood dance class on Fit TV and it was fun but it didn't feel like too much work. Then I did a Cardio Sculpt weight loss class. There were a lot of boxing moves and I felt like it was a god workout. I was able to do all the moves but I was sweating. I like working out at home because I don't have to wear shoes! I wish I didn't have to wear shoes at the gym, but I guess it wouls be gross if no one wore shoes and everyones sweaty feet were everywhere. I had a couple glasses of water and a piece of Extra Polar Ice sugarless gum.